I am not sure how I am supposed to begin writing this. I only know that I am supposed to begin. So after putting it off for far too long, here it goes. This is the most vulnerable post I have written thus far. However, I do know that our pain is for a purpose and that the Lord is good, and He meets us in the darkest places.
Without going into lengthy detail, I will say that my relationships in the past have not always been healthy. My friends and family were helpless bystanders in some of the ugliest, most toxic situations that I can only blame myself for getting into.
I was consumed, smothered, and quite frankly, determined to wallow there for the rest of my days.
When I finally came up for air, I found myself diving into the most satisfying, exhilarating, and (what I wanted more than anything) committed relationship. And this very moment was my undoing.
It was my transformation from this lonely and insecure girl, to this free and loved woman.
And no, it didn’t happen overnight. Mostly, because I didn’t think I earned the title of “free” or “loved.” But, I didn’t have to earn it at all. It was lavished upon me.
Who I found
Listens and sees me
I never go unnoticed. I am never forgotten. Not for a moment.
Keeps His word
I never have to doubt His promises are true.
I don’t ever have to feel lonely.
His schedule is always open to spend quality time with me.
Is not selfish
He considers me.
He is completely devoted.
There is no confusion about the way He feels about me. He never withholds any part of Himself. All He has is mine.
Does not compare me to others
Even the ones who I believe are “better” than me in some way. He sees me as enough.
Is a partner
He holds me accountable, but promises to help me carry the load.
Lifts me higher
He never lowers my self-esteem, but allows me to see from His perspective.
Is gentle and kind
He speaks truth in love, never degrading or condescending or harsh.
He does not give me the cold shoulder or punish me for mistakes. He is always ready to repair the relationship and move forward, holding no account of wrongdoings.
Is proud to be mine
I am never a secret. He is never ashamed of me or what I have done.
Song of Solomon 2:4
Is a provider
Financially, emotionally, physically.
Doesn’t play games
It is always relationship status official. I am His.
He never thinks I am crazy or overreacting. My feelings are important to Him.
Constantly pursues me
He never walks away. He never leaves me behind.
All my best,